tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
