Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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