I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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