I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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