Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
