I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
