so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
