we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
