it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
