Sponge bath it is.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
