i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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