I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
