I'm lost and stupid without you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
