I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
