so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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