Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
