alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
