Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
