I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
