You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
