I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
