white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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