Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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