Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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