porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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