You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
