Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
