She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
