I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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