it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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