booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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