I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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