Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
