He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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