the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
