is your mom at the bar?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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