The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The uberlube is also flammable
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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