last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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