I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
