Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
