oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
BRING THE BAGELS
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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