Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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