All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
