after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
