forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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