hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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