Soap is not a condiment
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
