Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
