Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
