Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
